Real World Hollywood Episodes 1-5

Since I might be out of a job, my husband suggested that we cheer ourselves up by enjoying some MTV Real World. We had watched Real World: Denver earlier and needed the kind of entertainment where the opening credits felt as if it had to school you that Denver was Denver, Colorado.

We love marathon-couch-potatoeing one show, and whatdoyouknow--the entire season of Real World: Hollywood was ready for the streaming on the MTV website.

Rundown of my first impressions:

Greg--Young, cocky, tries super hard to be cool. He misses the first two required gatherings of the "job," but seriously, what are they going to do? Kick him off the show? This season is being passed off as an opportunity for people to get started in Hollywood. Greg wants to be a high fashion model. He cuts out the second time to be in a fashion show--much more useful to him than watching some improv show, so I applauded his decision. Until I saw him on the runway and doing everything Mary Alice Stephenson (America's Most Smartest Model) would frown at. Cringeworthy: the jacket move.

He does have astute observations; for example, when Will denied he was playing Sarah, Greg likened Will to being decked out in basketball gear and denying he played basketball. I expect more good TV from Greg in the near future.

*Edit 9/23/08: Apparently, MTV can just kick people off. Oops.

Joey--When drunk, he attributed Kim's and Sarah's problem as being spoiled, i.e., they never ate out of a trash can before. I guess people shouldn't say anything to Joey until they've eaten trash like he has. I watch trash, does that count? He has gone off to rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky. Does this mean he can be on Celebrity Rehab & Real World: Hollywood at the same time? I hope he comes back with less hair gel.

Dave--Typical horny guy who I strangely admire for recognizing what's important. Sure, he brought an attractive girl home--much to Kim's dismay--but he knows enough about women to know that if he's going to live with certain ones for 4 months, that he should keep them reasonably happy. So, if the slutty girls in the house call other girls classless whores, you agree with the sluts and stop hitting on the whores. Plenty of time for those attractive women after he gets out of the house, right?

Brianna--After seeing and hearing of Joey's drunken outbursts, Brianna decides she's no longer interested in him, because she herself has no baggage and is a gem of a catch. MTV nicely unwrapped Brianna for us, from singer/dancer to slutty dresser to stripper to assault defendant to ex-coke & meth addict to Jo-Jo the Ho-Ho banger to who-knows-what-next. Speaking of Jo-Jo, could he maybe change up the buckle bling? Belt buckles get dirty, too (or for him, especially), but I imagine they aren't machine washable.

Sarah--It took all of two days for Sarah to consider cheating on her BF; less for her to lock tongues with Will, which I'm sure her BF would consider cheating. If there is one thing she could do better--nay, two, she could show even more cleavage at church, and get Brianna back by having sex in their room while Brianna's awake. Oh, three, and read the Bible, as her dad suggests.

Kim--If Brianna uses "ghetto" to describe herself at times, then Kim can use it to describe Brianna, too. It's a wonderful rule to follow, and I hope more wackiness/offensiveness ensues. On another note, Kim seems to have awful skin, and the scenes of her without makeup are a bit brutal. She also reminds me of a poorer, lazy-eyelid-free Paris Hilton, which qualifies her as the most beautiful person alive as long as she's wearing makeup.

Will--The only one who seems remotely able to make it small-time in Hollywood has not had much going on in the latest episodes. He surprised me early on with his 180-degree turn in his opinion on Brianna once he found out she was a stripper. Mostly, it confused me that someone cast by MTV would see dating strippers as a downer. Then he kindergarten-crushed attractive, attached Sarah, but mostly for the chase. His plotlines are currently on hold. Oh, me, using the word "currently," hah.